Why Can We Lick Our Balls But Not Catch Our Tails

Daddy has trouble sleeping. He says most people get a song stuck in their heads and it wont go away. Daddy almost never listens to music. He listen's to language lesson's or books on tape watches TV or Reads. The stuff he reads doesn't make sense to most other humans so he bounces it of me because he know next time he walks me he will be picking up my opinion of in a little plastic bag. More than humans they don't give one even when they do understand.

The other day when he couldn't sleep he said it keep going through his head " Why can Dogs lick their testicles but not catch their tails" being a god sorry dog he asked me. I looked at him, while aimed my head where I figured he was I am blind ( like Justice ) and thought, I never chase my tail but then since I'm a rescued dog I don't those things to lick either. Guess is evens out. Bet the next thing keeps him awake is if the licking causes the chasing. Don't know about all humans but mine thinks to much.

I can sleep anywhere anytime.

Happy Birthday to Me

Not today but the first was my birthday. Daddy says it is very unusual ( and I thought birthdays happened every year ) because I am now 17 human years old and still seem like a puppy. He says I could make us both rich if I could write down my beauty secrets.

I only have one to be honest and it is actually Sid's definition of a dog's job. These are actually his own words he is not quoting anyone else ( when he does and someone thinks they are his words he goes to great lengths to make sure credit goes to said them first. The longer they have been dead the more trouble he seems to be willing to go to. He even will explain that something is the English translation of some Latin motto. One of his favorites is the Motto of Scotland and also why they picked the thistle as their national Flower. The Motto in Latin is Nemo Me Impune Lacesit" which literally means no one harms me without getting pierced. He prefers to say a more modern translation is "No one F***s with me and gets away with it.) However is definition of a Dog's job is this " to be your most loyal friend from the day we meet until life's end ". He says what makes me different from most dogs is that most dogs are only that way to one person. I am that way to everyone willing to accept me as a friend. Sid is of course my best friend, then Jessica his daughter who adopted me then had to pass me on to Sid as she could no longer take care of me in her small apartment. Then Mr Whisker's who is my cat Brother that Jessy rescued when his mother got run over by a truck. Sid is allergic to cats so has to take allergy pills sometimes if there are also other things he is allergic to around or if he is sensitive.

Sid also wanted me to put this last picture up as a goal he would like to live up to.

Daddy Avoiding Swearing

I know Sid hates to swear. Not like most people he really thinks if he has to swear it means he has really lost his self control. He quotes Shakespeare and a lot of other people instead of swearing. Thinks if he swears he has proved himself to stupid to get the same result without swearing. As he gets older he learns more ways not to swear. Like one time a lady in front of him in line at a check out was being really mean to a cashier for no reason. Line was getting real long people were getting upset and the lady was really being mean. So Daddy behind he in line says " Lady are you always this rude or only since someone dropped a house on your sister. " The rest of the line started clapping the lady turned to say something but before she could daddy said " You should get home your Flying Monkey's must be starving" line began to laugh she shut up paid and left. As daddy was paying the clerk whispered thank you.

I was barking a lot today. Two of Sid's friends were over who go do errands for him when he is having a bad time. That has been happening a lot since his bother died last month. Anyway he had to yell at me but did it without swearing. I guess I will hear this again but he finally go tired of no one hearing over my barking and yelled "Rocky shut the Pup up". I did. Sid almost never yells. So I guess he will be saying that again from time to time. I am kind of glad he won't swear at me or the cat either. The cat can make him cry not by being bad but with allergies and he has a hard time making him get off him if he isn't well. He has to take pills to live with the cat but Jessie who I used to belong too also brought him a kitten to look after for a few days whose mother had died. That was 6 years ago. He just keeps lifting the cat off him. He hasn't yelled at it yet. If he keeps having sick mornings maybe he will yell but I bet he won't swear.

On days he can't go out because his disorder is acting up he always hires someone so I get out at least twice a day. Daddy tires. I try to be good too. Daddy says I am the world's oldest good puppy cause I am 15 almost 16 in two months. Daddy's doctor says he can expect at least a few more bad months. Cold out doesn't help either.

But Mr Wisker's and I still love him and hope he fells better soon. He spoils us when he can. I know he gets scared lately. He cries about missing his brother sometimes. He never used to cry. Jessica rescued me and Mr Wisker's but when she couldn't keep taking care of us Sid never complained just took over for her and he tries to keep us happy. We get Xmas and birthday gifts he doesn't know Mr Wiskers birthday so he get stuff right after my birthday. We love him and try to be nice to him but we can only be there for him. We can't talk people talk. But he knows we are here and we don't let him think he is alone.